oh Friday!

Today is the first Friday of my single experiment and here I am sitting in Coffee Encounters scoping out my options. So far, my options include the old creepy man who is suspiciously staring at me through the plant or the fifteen year old at the computer chatting it up with his buddies on facebook. My options just drastically increased with the cute guy who just now walked through the door. He is walking past my table, do I look at him?
What do I do?
Well. . . I looked straight ahead, not at him. That would have counted as a risk but I failed to take it! I could go over there and talk to him but what do I say? I've never done this before. I am nut sure I am ready to leap in to this whole thing. Step in, yes, put my toe in, yes, but not plunge into the water head first. So I am taking this opportunity to reflect,

Why is it so hard for me to look at guys in the eyes? Honestly, I think it's because I am afraid of what I may see there, good and bad. I am afraid that a guy might actually find me attractive and that terrifies me!!! Because then I can't hide behind my fears of being inadequate and wondering if any guy could ever love me.

I just chocked on my chai latte and barely managed to keep myself from spewing everywhere.

No one noticed!

It looks like Coffee encounters is not going to be the place where I take my risk tonight.

Now I am being told that we are heading off to the 'man cave.' It sounds terrifying! Me and Sarah are the only females at the man cave which turns out to be some guys basement with a projector and screen where everyone watches movies and yells a lot! Here is where I take my first risk, I talk (that is right, out loud!) and I try my darndest to make eye contact with everyone in the room. (Including the creepy Italian guy who just so happens to be named Pasquale and I am pretty sure that if he would hear me sing Opera he would probably jump me, agh!)

Throughout this night I am continuing to take risks, small ones but risks none the less. I sang Karaoke with Sarah which for some strange reason terrifies me (I would so much rather sing an aria in front of a bunch of people), my biggest accomplishment of the night is consistent eye contact with members of the opposite sex. Unfortunately, tonight there was nobody that I met that I was really interested in but I made an effort to take a risk besides that and I feel rather proud of myself for it!No, there was no leaping off of bridges or falling madly in love but I have to start somewhere, besides, Dr. Phil says that eye contact is incredibly important!

THIS JUST IN!!!
So on Saturday I got an e-mail from this guy that I have been randomly keeping in contact with since I met him in May and it looks like we are going to go out for coffee next week. . . I will keep you all posted!!!

The inner dialogue of a Friday afternoon freak out!!

Today is Friday and the weekend has come. You see when you are a teacher, and a musician the only time to meet new people (guys especially) comes on the weekend. So every Friday my roommate and I doll ourselves up and make the treacherous trip into Moose Jaw in order to meet new people. Sarah is always so pumped up for the weekend and excited to meet new people but. . . I have a confession to make, every weekend at about 4:00 I think to myself, "oh how nice it would be to just stay home and spend the evening with a movie." Not that I don't like hanging out with Sarah (because I do, she is amazing!!) but because it is around this time that I get slightly terrified that when we go out and meet new guys I won't know what to say or that I will make an absolute fool of myself. The crazy thing is that this happens every single weekend!! Afterward I feel so fired up and I love it, but that is always after the fact. And then there is the pressure of knowing that this weekend I have to take a risk of some sort and since tonight is the only night that I am going out, it is going to have to be today. Then I wonder what this risk is going to look like and in the back of my head I hear
dun. . .
dun. . .
dun. . .

Oh Mel what have you done!!

Truth is, I don't know!!! But I am going to do it anyway! I've learned that you have to do the things that scare you, no matter how terrifying they are. There is no other way to learn, to change or to grow. You just wait. . .

tomorrow I will have one exciting blog!!

In the beginning. . .

I am a 25 and a half year old single woman living in a community where being single at my age is not the norm. It is getting to that time in my life where people have started to offer to set me up with all of their single friends or relatives. They do this out of love of course and maybe a little out of fear that perhaps I have given up;

To all my family and friends:
I Have Not Given Up!!!

So I decided to start this blog and invite my family and friends into this time of my life where I am dedicated to meeting new people and taking risks in relationships. I am committing myself to taking a risk a week and recording it on this blog for all of you to follow me on this strange journey.

I took my risk for this week on Monday after I had received a message from an acquaintance that I had not spoken to for a long time. He wanted to know more about my trip to Kenya and so I asked him if he wanted to go out for coffee with me. Now if anyone is reading this who doesn't know me, you are probably thinking, "What's the big deal? That is not much of a risk." But for those of you who do know me you are probably gasping in shock that I would be so bold. The people who know me laugh at me when I say that I am shy but the truth is that in certain situations I am VERY shy and VERY easily embarrassed. Especially when it comes to attractive members of the male species. I get red if an attractive guy looks at me, I can't stop staring, and my tongue gets tied in knots. So if an attractive guy asks me for my name it takes me at least a minute to remember my name and then about five minutes to actually spit it out. (Turns out that when I panic or I get to excited I severely trip over my words-kind of like stutter!) All that said, this was a big deal for me to ask a guy out for coffee! I still haven't gotten a reply from him, which is OK because at least I jumped out and took the risk.

For those of you who are thinking, "Why don't you just join eharmony?" I would like to inform you that. . .
I already did.

Turns out that I am really good at getting the African men from countries I have never heard of with names that I could never pronounce. And although I have nothing against Africans, I am not sure that my talents are best served by living in a village in Africa where no one has ever heard of Opera. I might be a little much for them. So eharmony aside, I am forging my own way through the dating world and challenging myself to take risks. For those of you who are getting excited and printing of my picture and resume to send down to countries like Paraguay, Bolivia and Belize, I am asking you, no begging you to PUT THE PICTURES DOWN!!! Instead, follow me along as I try to take risks here in Canada first and if I am not dating anyone by the time that I am 50, you are free to mail those pictures.

So here we go, the single experiment is now underway. . .