oh Friday!

Today is the first Friday of my single experiment and here I am sitting in Coffee Encounters scoping out my options. So far, my options include the old creepy man who is suspiciously staring at me through the plant or the fifteen year old at the computer chatting it up with his buddies on facebook. My options just drastically increased with the cute guy who just now walked through the door. He is walking past my table, do I look at him?
What do I do?
Well. . . I looked straight ahead, not at him. That would have counted as a risk but I failed to take it! I could go over there and talk to him but what do I say? I've never done this before. I am nut sure I am ready to leap in to this whole thing. Step in, yes, put my toe in, yes, but not plunge into the water head first. So I am taking this opportunity to reflect,

Why is it so hard for me to look at guys in the eyes? Honestly, I think it's because I am afraid of what I may see there, good and bad. I am afraid that a guy might actually find me attractive and that terrifies me!!! Because then I can't hide behind my fears of being inadequate and wondering if any guy could ever love me.

I just chocked on my chai latte and barely managed to keep myself from spewing everywhere.

No one noticed!

It looks like Coffee encounters is not going to be the place where I take my risk tonight.

Now I am being told that we are heading off to the 'man cave.' It sounds terrifying! Me and Sarah are the only females at the man cave which turns out to be some guys basement with a projector and screen where everyone watches movies and yells a lot! Here is where I take my first risk, I talk (that is right, out loud!) and I try my darndest to make eye contact with everyone in the room. (Including the creepy Italian guy who just so happens to be named Pasquale and I am pretty sure that if he would hear me sing Opera he would probably jump me, agh!)

Throughout this night I am continuing to take risks, small ones but risks none the less. I sang Karaoke with Sarah which for some strange reason terrifies me (I would so much rather sing an aria in front of a bunch of people), my biggest accomplishment of the night is consistent eye contact with members of the opposite sex. Unfortunately, tonight there was nobody that I met that I was really interested in but I made an effort to take a risk besides that and I feel rather proud of myself for it!No, there was no leaping off of bridges or falling madly in love but I have to start somewhere, besides, Dr. Phil says that eye contact is incredibly important!

THIS JUST IN!!!
So on Saturday I got an e-mail from this guy that I have been randomly keeping in contact with since I met him in May and it looks like we are going to go out for coffee next week. . . I will keep you all posted!!!